Forever Gone
by Chosen to Rise
Summary: Will a last confrontation with his beloved wife be enough of pull Anakin from the clutches of the Darkside? Will a last encounter with her conflicted husband cost Padmé her life?


Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated nor do I own any part of Star Wars. All characters and locations etc. belong to the beloved George Lucas & Company.   
Summary: Anakin & Padmé have one last confrontation before Anakin's complete fall to the Dark Side. Please note that the point of view changes from narrator to Padmé, to Anakin and then finishes again with a narrator.

Forever Gone

by: Destined to Fall

------------------------------

Padmé Amidala Skywalker watched the raging storm through the vast windows of her elegant apartment. It was rare to have such horrible weather on Coruscant, capital planet of the Republic , but when it came, it had a tendency to make itself known. Torrents of rain pounded heavily against the thick glass before running smoothly down its sides. The window was like a canvas, with water configurations intricately decorating its surface. The immeasurable night sky was heavily cloaked with a gloomy cloud cover, and the random strikes of lightning illuminated it, their spidery patterns of light only adding to the unpleasant feeling that was left hanging in the air. 

The room Padmé was in was as dark as the night; only the ever-present lights from the city made the silhouettes of the furniture visible. She stood alone, watching the storm grow stronger. The sad and lifeless expression she wore on her face mirrored the inner thoughts that were poisoning her mind. The lightning clawed again at the sky, momentarily breaking up the gray gloom, emphasizing Padme's delicate features as a lone tear trickled down her face to be hidden from view. Padmé pulled on the sleeve of her black gown and brought it up to her cheek to wipe away the remnants of the trails her tears had been leaving over the last few hours. 

Storms made everything so much more depressing for her. She was still used to the sunny, carefree days she had spent on her home planet of beautiful Naboo. All of her memories were there. From her childhood, to the days when she served as Queen, and to most recently the days she spent there as a newlywed. That the marriage had to be in utmost secret, and to keep such a secret was difficult, but it had been worth it . Those last days she had been there with Anakin had been the best in her life...but now? Now those days had gone, _'All of that which I loved has changed'_, she thought, feeling more sorry for herself then ever. 

As she continued to stand near the window straining the see past the collecting gloom, a new feeling was pressing upon her. It was a presence, one she had not felt for the past few months. One she had been longing for, hoping would come, but fearing that it would. 

She could feel him coming, she was ready.

------------------------------

I watch him, and remember.

The lights from the hallway flood in behind him, glinting slightly off his lightened hair, giving him a sheen of gold. I remember the times at the cottage retreat when we would sit for long hours in each others arms, watching Naboo's sunset, waiting until it was long lost behind the low rolling hills, the way people do in the sappiest holofilms. He would be backlit then by the setting sun, a single black silhouette against the gold. But now, now the light is much fainter… almost non-existent.

"Why are you here?" I ask him gently as he moves further into the room.

"I've found you Amidala, and am to kill you as commanded by my master. " His voice is harsh, almost ragged, and I flinch at the 'Amidala'. He throws me a cold, emotionless stare as he withdraws his lightsaber and it hiss's to life. It is now an ominous red instead of its usual blue, and he holds it up as if ready to strike. "Why do you not run?" 

"Because I want to save you from yourself," I retort, my voice almost as sharp as his. "Why don't you understand? The Jedi Order needs you. _We _need you." 

I wince again at the involuntary slip. _We._ Anakin must not find out about his children, _our _children; the twins I carry. Not now. Not yet. He focuses on another part of the sentence however. 

"The Jedi Order is dead, Amidala. Or soon will be."

"What do you mean?" I demand, feeling a sense of foreboding.

He refuses to quite meet my eyes. Then he finally looks up, and stares at me defiantly.

"The Republic is dying Amidala. How long do you think the Jedi Order will be able to hold together after it tumbles from the top down? They feed off each other - they always have. Without one, you'd only have to nudge the other to cause its collapse." 

"You're going to destroy us, aren't you." It's not a question, but a statement, and I don't know whom I mean by 'us'. The Republic? The Jedi Order - which I almost consider myself part of now despite not being Force-sensitive; myself and our unborn children? Our relationship? Perhaps all of them.

Anakin doesn't answer. He simply glares, blue eyes filled with both hatred and love, a strange combination, before bowing his head down and deactivating his saber. Although he is not looking at me I can sense the struggling conflict within his mind. I take this chance. 

I tentatively step forward and reach out, taking his hand. My own flesh tingles at the contact; I know this hand better than my own, have every mark, scar, and line memorized. He quickly looks up to me with complete disbelief evident all over his face. His eyes bore into my own and deep within I see a flicker as they momentarily turn into the warm blue that usually looks out from that face I love so much, what I remember. Only then do I notice how hot his hand feels. It seems to be on fire, tingling with some mysterious power. I do not release him, however. 

Instead I utter a question, one that comes as a complete shock to me.

"Who is your master Anakin?"

It seems to shock him, too. He regains what semblance of composure he had quickly however.

"Somebody who you would never suspect, Padmé. Never." 

I am so relieved at the 'Padmé', instead of the endless 'Amidala, Amidala, Amidala', that, instead of responding, I gaze imploringly at him. Trying to put my soul onto my face.

Ani - Anakin, please…listen to me, this once...listen to me like you used to...

And, for a second, I think I've gotten through to him. His carefully practiced expression collapses for a moment. Only a moment, though. Then his face turns cold, retreating back into that frightening nothingness that is so unlike him.

------------------------------

I can hear her thoughts. I have always vowed not to take advantage of her by probing them, but we have an unusually close bond. And they are all _wrong._

I want to shout, plead with her, tell her that I wasn't lying, have never lied to her. Tell her that I love her more than anything. But I don't.

The Dark Side is part of me now. I don't know if it's possible for me to return from it. I don't know if I want to. Emperor Palpatine, or Darth Sidious, my Master, knew that this would happen. The mad power lust…the feeling of being able to do anything that I never got from being a Jedi…

Had anyone told the nine year old slave-boy that he would one day be an apprentice to the Dark Lord of the Sith, he'd never have believed it. Had he been told that together they'd overthrow the Republic and the Jedi Order he'd have laughed in their face, told them that they were acting like a Twi'lek on spice.

But it's happened. It's _still _happening. Here I am, after all.

I look back at Padmé - Amidala - who has released my hand. She's hiding something, I'm sure of it. She is an excellent liar - she would have to be, being a politician - but I know her better than I know myself. I do not attempt to touch her mind - although, normally, I don't have to, our mental link is strong enough, which is odd, with her not being Force-sensitive. She must be desperate to hide whatever it is; her thoughts are carefully blank.

This time, I take _her _hand. I have no idea why. It's so fragile, so frail…so unlike Padmé - _Amidala - _herself**. **Her deep brown eyes meet mine, the same eyes I fell in love with so many years ago. Now all that looks back at me is a terrible, deep sadness. Yet still I still can glimpse the look of that undying love in which she bound herself to me. I know she sees only the hatred that fills my own eyes. Hatred because she loves me, hatred for myself for loving her back.

Our gaze breaks, the moment lost. Together we turn, and look out from the apartment we once shared. Black velvet sprinkled with tiny crystals, the low lanes of Coruscant shining far below like the gems that it was named after. The storm that had been raging so violently before had now turned to more of a soft drizzle. The lighting had stopped and the thunder was merely a rumbling echo in the distance, far, but still present. 

I turn away, and her gaze follows me.

I can sense her hope; desperation is clear in her eyes. She lets go of my hand and wraps her arms around my neck in a tight embrace before pulling back slightly. She pauses only a moment before she is leaning into me, allowing her lips to find my own, all her feelings revealed. 

"I love you Ani, I always have, and I always will, no matter what happens." 

Her eyes do not bear any sign of anger or hate - but the heart-rending sadness returns when I do not answer. She does not speak again, she only turns and slowly makes her way across the floor, her feet only leaving the slightest depressions in the thick carpet. Her dress billows silently behind her and she reaches the door as the angel which I first called her. Without looking back she exits into the hallway.

__

I want to chase after her. To catch hold of her, prevent her from leaving. Pull her back with the Force even - but I simply stand there, watching as the most important piece of my life walks out of it.

No, Padmé, I don't want to be like this! I want to be with you, I want to save the Jedi Order! Help me Padmé! Help me, help me, get me OUT…

The little voice suddenly makes me furiously angry. 

------------------------------

He stood as a statue; situated in the same place she had left him, gazing at the door where she had walked out. After many minutes he turned his eyes to look around the room and finally they settled down onto his lightsaber he still had clasped in his hand. He stared at it for quite some time, slowly turning it around with his fingers. His stature suddenly hardened, every muscle seeming to grow stiff and his grip on his lightsaber tighten. At last he looked up, his eyes flashing dangerously, the softness and temporary calm had now disappeared completely and they had returned to the rigid icy blue once more. Anakin was gone. 

He activated his saber and began slashing wildly at everything in the room. He stopped suddenly, turning his eyes to the door, then paused, looking around at the destruction he had caused. The only sound that could be heard was that of the vicious rain that had again started to pound against the windowpanes as his face contorted into a disturbing sort of smile. Suddenly, seeming to have made up his mind, he headed to leave, and with his long, swift strides, Vader exited the apartment.   


Outside the door, Padmé heard the elongated silence and then the sudden hiss of Anakin's lightsaber, the loud noises that came from within she knew were her possessions being destroyed. Knowing now that Vader had complete control over her beloved Anakin, she brought her head to her hands and wept. She knew he still existed in that monster somewhere, but buried far too deep for her to reach. She cried for him; that he would never be the loving father he could have become. For their children that she carried in her womb, herself and the mess her life had become, but mostly from the knowledge that the next time she saw him, if she ever did, Anakin might not be there to save her. She knew she had to leave now before Vader came and found her there, putting herself, and her children, Ani's children, at risk.

With that she struggled to pull herself onto her feet, and gave the door one last longing look. Knowing what she had to do, she turned to race down the corridor, hair lashing out behind her, tears flowing freely down her face. Padmé's retreating thought was that she needed to get to Obi-Wan - Anakin's former Jedi master; her friend. He would protect her and her children. He had to, even if it was from their own father. 

He was their last hope. 

  
* * *

"She got away, my master."  
"How could she have escaped with only you there Vader?" Emperor Palpatine questioned, knowing the answer, but wanting him to admit his own failure, making the hate in him stronger.  
"The weaker part of me took over momentarily, she walked out in his presence. I assure you, this will never happen again. Anakin Skywalker is now dead forever." 

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THE END


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